How do I Tell if a Therapist is Right for Me?

If you’ve recently started therapy, you might be having some questions like ‘Is this the right therapist for me?’, ‘Does this feel right?’ and ‘Does it feel like i’m making progress in the direction I want?’. These are valuable questions to ask, since therapy can involve a major investment of time and money – and it is wise to make sure you are getting what you need. This article will take you through some helpful questions that may help to clarify your therapy experience. 

Do you trust them?

Decades of research into how therapy is the most effective, tells us that the therapeutic relationship – the trust and respect between a therapist and client – is one of the most important factors in whether therapy succeeds. This means that if you are not feeling safe or comfortable with your therapist – for whatever reason – this is likely to affect your progress. If you’re comfortable, you can raise this with your therapist – and discuss what might be getting in the way of you feeling comfortable – or, if this feels like a bit much, it may be time to look for another therapist. 

Do you like them?

Speaking of the therapeutic relationship, ‘liking’ your therapist is also something to consider. This doesn’t have to mean really wishing you could hang out and watch comedies together, but rather if you feel a sense of connection and enjoyment when you are in their presence. 

The opposite to this might be if you feel a sense of discomfort, detachment or aversion when you’re in session with them. This could be due to many things – whether they remind you of someone from your past, or your personalities clash for some reason – there are people who, for whatever reason, rub us the wrong way. If this is happening in therapy, it is, unfortunately, an issue, since we need to feel comfortable and safe when going through therapy. 

Just a quick note about this – as above, if you feel comfortable talking with your therapist about this issue, it might actually be really helpful – since it might be a minor issue, and resolving it might help you to see other things in your life differently. Sometimes our feelings about our therapists can replicate how we feel about people in our personal lives, meaning that we can sometimes imagine rejection or criticism – so bringing this into conversation and raising it as an issue can be a great way of working this out in a safe environment. 

Are they qualified?

There are many types of therapists, but one useful guideline can be whether your therapist is licensed with their local state or country. Most countries have requirements for therapists – just like for doctors, dentists and other health professionals – to have undergone appropriate training and supervised practice. 

Often this involves several years of learning the theory behind mental health conditions and human behavior, and being closely supervised in their work with patients. Choosing a therapist who is licensed is a good indicator that they will have the knowledge, experience and skills to help you – whatever issues you are having. If they are licensed it is also a good indication that they will have good boundaries and be professional in their interactions with you – since that is a foundation of therapist training. 

These questions are just guidelines, but they can help you to reflect on your relationship with your therapist and consider how things are going. Therapy can be a powerful intervention for anxiety and other mental health conditions, and it is worth investing some time and effort into making sure it works for you.

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