Talking About Anxiety
For some of us, even the thought of talking about anxiety can make us feel anxious. However, talking about anxiety can be an important step to improvement.
Sometimes it can be hard to admit to yourself that you are experiencing anxiety, let alone admitting it to someone else. For some of us, even the thought of talking about anxiety can make us feel anxious. However, not opening up about these difficulties can often make things worse. Although it can sometimes be uncomfortable or scary, talking about anxiety can be an important step to improvement.
Why is it so hard to talk about anxiety?
There are a few reasons why we might be reluctant to talk about anxiety, including our beliefs about how we might be perceived by others. However, research shows that negative perceptions largely come from the person experiencing anxiety – that is, we are often more judgemental towards ourselves than others are. While talking about anxiety might feel like you’re exposing something undesirable about yourself, chances are that others will not see it this way.
While talking about anxiety might feel like you’re exposing something undesirable about yourself, chances are that others will not see it this way.
You might also be concerned that others will not understand your experience. Some reactions that people might have include trying to relate your experience to one of their own, giving you advice, or telling you not to worry. While these responses are usually genuine attempts to help you, they can inadvertently dismiss the challenges you are facing and make it difficult to talk more about it. If someone responds in these ways, you could try saying something like “I really appreciate you trying to help, but I think what I need most right now is to talk about what I’m going through”. It is usually good to talk even if the other person cannot understand — being heard is often more helpful than getting solutions or complete understanding.
Who do I tell?
Knowing who to talk to about anxiety will depend on you and your needs. For many situations, talking to a doctor can be a good place to start. Research shows that most people find it easier to talk to a stranger rather than someone close. If you have concerns about medical interventions, it can be good to know that there are multiple options available for managing mental health, and you always have a choice. You can also contact mental health support call lines or online chat services for anonymous help.
Research shows that most people find it easier to talk to a stranger rather than someone close.
It might also be good for you to reach out to trusted others and build your support network. The number of people you choose to share your experience with is completely up to you. However, having more than one support person is usually most helpful. If you’re anxious about talking to loved ones, it might help to start small. Rather than jumping straight into your deepest fears, you could begin with more day-to-day worries. You might find that you gradually become more comfortable speaking the more you do it. Another good strategy can be to begin the conversation by saying that it will be hard for you to talk about this – this can take some of the pressure off and make the other person aware that this is important to you.
It can be particularly tricky to know how to talk to work colleagues or employers about anxiety – you might worry about how they will perceive your ability to do your job or that they will begin to treat you differently. However, adjusting workloads or taking a break might be helpful for anxiety management. In these cases, it’s good to say something, but it’s up to you how much you choose to share – it’s often fine to say that you are unwell, but it’s useful to be honest about your needs.
How do I say it?
The words you choose to describe your experience are completely up to you. However, it can be helpful to consider your words carefully – words can be powerful and can sometimes impact how others perceive your situation and even how you perceive yourself. Some people find it helpful to talk about anxiety as a separate experience to themselves — I am experiencing anxiety or I’m feeling anxious, rather than I am anxious.
words can be powerful and can sometimes impact how others perceive your situation and even how you perceive yourself.
It can also be helpful to avoid language that trivialises your experiences, like “I’m just being silly”, or words that place blame on yourself or others, like “why can’t I move on”, or “you’re making me anxious”. Instead, you could say something like “this is difficult for me right now”, or “I’m feeling anxious in this situation”. If you’re better with writing than speaking, you could try writing a letter or messaging someone to tell them how you feel. However you choose to speak about anxiety, there will always be someone who wants to listen.
You can find guidance on anxiety management techniques by trying out Mind Ease.
