Is Anxiety the Enemy?
Take a different look at this often feared feeling.
It’s easy to think of anxiety as an opponent; something that has to be fought against or overcome. But we think differently, and it might surprise you.
In our view, anxiety can be harmful in the following ways:
1) It feels unpleasant: the way that our bodies and minds experience anxiety is uncomfortable and often distressing. For example, racing heart, ache in chest, fear in the pit of stomach, headaches.
2) It takes up a lot of time: anxiety often results in time spent worrying and overthinking – occupying time that could otherwise be spent doing things we enjoy, such as hobbies, socialising, reflecting or learning.
3) It gets in the way of our lives: anxiety leads to avoidance, which means that we may end up avoiding things that are important to us – like social events, job interviews or dates. The more we avoid these things, the worse the anxiety becomes – and gradually our lives become smaller and smaller.
So, yes – anxiety is bad, when you look at it in this way!
One thing that really stands out about anxiety is that, the more we try not to feel anxious – and we try to get rid of anxious thoughts or feelings – the more the anxiety grows. ‘Trying not to feel anxious’ is basically impossible, and fairly counter-productive.
A better alternative when dealing with anxiety is to move towards acceptance of your anxious thoughts and feelings. When we accept that these feelings are showing up, then we can move towards making room for them and tolerating them – rather than trying to make them go away. Importantly, we make sure that we don’t avoid things that make us anxious – because we know that the more we avoid these things, the greater the anxiety can become.
When we accept that these feelings are showing up, then we can move towards making room for them and tolerating them – rather than trying to make them go away.
A good saying to sum up this thought is ‘feel the fear, and do it anyway’. This is a great illustration of the value of accepting anxiety, making room for it, and still taking action towards what matters to you.
The large body of research into anxiety shows that this approach – acceptance – is one of the most powerful tools that can be used for anxiety. Paradoxically, the more we make room for, and accept our anxiety, the less important it becomes. We might feel anxious to begin with, but over time these symptoms often reduce, since we’re focusing on what really matters to us.
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