▶ 5 Ways To Boost Children’s Mental Health

Many children and young people around the world struggle with their emotional health. In fact, research shows that 50% of chronic mental health problems start before the age of 14 and 75% start before the age of 24. Young age is an important developmental period which often sets the foundation for our adult wellbeing. 

Luckily, this also means that any helpful habits learnt during childhood can set us up for a healthier adult life. In this article, we discuss five powerful strategies that can help you better understand children’s mental health and teach them useful habits.

1. Learn about it

Congratulations – by reading this blog post, you are already taking the first, most crucial step! Educating yourself about mental health can go a long way in helping you support yourself as well as others around you. Below are some of the most important facts you should know.

Most common sources of stress in children

Children can get upset and overwhelmed just like adults, so it is important to understand what kinds of factors can weigh them down. Here are some of the most common sources of emotional struggles that they might face:

• Family. This can include conflicts within the family, separation or divorce, socio-economic problems, substance abuse as well as any other serious illness.

• Change. Whether it’s moving houses, changing schools or even having a new sibling, children can feel anxious about the uncertainty of change. This can be particularly difficult if it involves a significant loss, such as the bereavement of a family member.

• Media. Children may become anxious or sad when witnessing news about difficult world events that they struggle to process. They may also feel pressure to look or act a certain way as a result of media influences, which could lower their self-esteem.

• School. There are many possible sources of distress at school, from competition and performance anxiety to bullying or struggling to “fit in”. For older children, developing romantic feelings can also have a significant impact on their emotional world.

• Abuse. Unfortunately many children around the world experience verbal, physical or sexual abuse, which can happen both in and outside of their home. This can be some of the most serious sources of trauma and should be urgently attended to.

Every child is different

Importantly, every child may respond differently to these stressors as a result of their unique life experiences as well as their genetics.

You may find it helpful to use the metaphor of the stress bucket, which represents how much stress we can carry at any one time and how well we can handle it. The size of the bucket is determined by factors that are largely out of our control – whether it’s our genes, our past experiences or our personality type.

While it’s difficult to change the size of our stress bucket, there are things that we can control. We may be able to affect how much stress is going into the bucket – like encouraging a school to carry out interventions against bullying. 

We can also affect how much stress is leaving through the “tap”. This represents healthy coping strategies, like exercise, playing with friends or snuggling with pets, which can all be great sources of stress relief for children. 

Image from https://altruistuk.com

You might find this metaphor helpful for discussing stress with a child. Here are some example sentences you could use:

• Wow, my stress bucket is quite full today. What about yours?
• Shall we do something this weekend to release our stress?
• How do you feel about this subject at school? Is it filling up your stress bucket?

Most common mental health problems in children

When a child’s stress bucket overflows, they can start to develop mental health problems. If such problems significantly impact their life – like their ability to go to school or to make friends – they may fulfill the diagnostic criteria of a mental health disorder.

It can be helpful to keep in mind that most people experience some degree of mental health difficulty at some point in their lives. Just because a child may experience symptoms of a mental health disorder, there is no need to panic or think that there’s something “wrong” with them.

Internalising problems

Psychologists have observed several types of problems that tend to occur in younger people. The first type is called internalizing problems and it refers to inner emotional struggles that may not be visible from the outside. These usually include low mood, anxiety as well as unexplained physical complaints, like headaches or nausea. 

Low mood or depression can present as persistent sadness and lack of interest in activities that used to be enjoyable for the child before. They may also experience changes in appetite or sleep, excessive fatigue or trouble concentrating at school. 

Anxiety refers to experiences of excessive worry or apprehension in the child. Anxiety disorders tend to develop earliest and there are several different types:

• Separation anxiety can be experienced when a child is leaving a familiar person or place. 

• Social anxiety occurs in social situations, when a child may feel excessively shy or afraid of being judged by others. 

• Selective mutism may apply to children who struggle to speak in certain situations, even though their speech is normal the rest of the time. 

• Generalized anxiety refers to excessive worry about many different topics that can bother the child most of the time.

• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)  involves the experience of obsessive thoughts, such as worrying about catching an illness, as well as “compulsions”, which are behaviors that have to be performed over and over again, like washing hands.

• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can involve persistent distress and “re-experiencing” of a past trauma, such as having very vivid flashbacks or upsetting dreams.

You can find more about children’s anxiety in this article.

Externalising problems

The second type of symptoms are shown outwardly in children’s behavior. They can include problems with conduct and defiance, hyperactivity, or even aggression. As a result of their nature, these problems can often have a negative effect on the children’s environment, such as hurting their peers and family members, or damaging property. Internalizing and externalizing problems can occur together.

2. Create space for feelings

A great way to support a child when they struggle is to create a safe space for their feelings. This helps them learn that they are loved and accepted even when they experience difficult emotions, which can also help them manage their feelings more easily.

Here are some strategies you might try:

• Try not to suppress or punish certain emotions, like sadness or anger. Negative emotions are a natural part of life and it is impossible to get rid of them. 

• Try not to invalidate a child’s experience with phrases such as “You’ll get over it, this is nothing to worry about” or “You’re a big girl, you shouldn’t be crying about this”. This could make them feel ashamed for how they feel and prevent them from confiding in you next time they need support.

• Encourage the child to name how they are feeling. This helps the child develop an emotional vocabulary, which will help them better understand themselves as well as others.

• Regularly find time to talk together about what’s happening in their world and how they are feeling about it.

• Help them find activities that make them feel better. It could be having a warm bath, listening to their favorite songs or baking cookies. Such activities can help them safely process their difficulties or provide helpful distraction.

3. Explore playful self-care

There are many fun ways in which you can continue the process of learning and talking about emotions together. The internet is full of tips and instructions for mental health activities for kids. Here are just a few ideas you might try:

Feelings thermometer 

The feelings thermometer is a visual tool to help children communicate about the intensity of their emotions. It goes from blue (calm) and green (worried) all the way to orange (frustrated) and red (angry). With the help of this metaphorical thermometer, a child can let you know if they are starting to feel “warmer”. You can also ask them questions like:

• What could help you to move to the blue zone? 
• What activities helped you before when you started to feel orange?
• Is this friend giving you a green feeling?

Practice mindful breathing

Mindful breathing is a great method for emotional regulation. Learning to slow down and focus on our breath, while trying to stay in the present moment, can help us to disconnect from difficult thoughts and to calm down our body.

You can find many mindfulness activities for children, but here are just a few examples:

• Teach the child to put their hand on their belly and breath slowly to fill their belly up like a balloon.
• Ask the child to close their eyes and imagine they are blowing out a dandelion with a slow, long exhale.
• Practice gentle breathing while blowing out bubbles using a bubble wand and some dish soap water.

You can learn many other relaxation techniques using the Mind Ease app.

Make DIY stress balls

Fill up a balloon with rice or flour and decorate it with paint in order to create fun stress balls. This can help normalize to the child that we all experience stress sometimes and that pressing on a ball is a healthy way of coping with difficult feelings.

Explore books, games and movies

Nowadays, many books and games exist that can help children learn and talk about their emotional experiences. They can encourage them to focus on their strengths, practice kind self-talk or express what they are grateful for.

Children’s movies can also be a great way to start a conversation about feelings. Anyone who has seen Disney’s Inside Out has experienced this first hand! So next time you’re watching a movie together, try asking questions like:

• How do you think the character is feeling?
• What made them feel so sad?
• What do you think would help them feel better? 

4. Work on your own healthy coping skills

Research shows that children’s mental health can be greatly impacted by the mental health of their caregiver. For example, children with anxiety may have a lower response to treatment if their parent has untreated anxiety. As a result, working on your own self-care can have a positive knock-on effect on any children around you, too. 

Here are some ways in which you could try this:

• Model compassionate self-talk. For example, you could say: “I have made a mistake but I’m not going to be mean to myself. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. I will do my best to fix things.”

• Demonstrate the importance of rest and play – for example, by saying: “I am tired today so I’m going to listen to some music and relax so that I am rested for tomorrow. It’s important to rest.”

• Practice validating your own feelings. You could say: “I feel upset today and it is hard. But it’s okay to feel upset, everyone experiences this sometimes. I will feel better again soon.”

The Mind Ease app has many exercises to help you develop these positive habits.

5. Know the warning signs of crisis

Unfortunately, self-harm and suicide can occur among children, too. That’s why it’s all the more important to cultivate a safe space where children can openly discuss how they feel.

Here are some possible warning signs that could indicate a child is at risk:

• expressing sentiments indicating that they feel like a burden or that nobody would miss them if they were gone
• writing diaries, poems or letters about death
• mentioning specific methods of suicide
• using a lot of alcohol or drugs
• appearing isolated from others and spending a lot of time alone
• showing unusual irritability, aggression or anxiety
• reporting unusual fatigue or feelings of numbness

You may ask them what they need or how you could help them feel better. You can even express your fears and worries and suggest seeking professional help together. If anyone appears at immediate risk of harm, do not hesitate to call your local crisis line.

Remember that there is no shame in seeking professional help for you or your child during times of struggle. You can look for therapists or psychiatrists in your local area as well as online.

Professional help can often speed up the recovery process and prevent unnecessary suffering. Cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy may be especially helpful for children and teens.

You can find many more techniques for adults’ and children’s mental health in the Mind Ease app.